Spidernet: A Satire

Ask them, my son!

Roadshow as armour in election warfare

By Amba Charan Vashishth

Son: Father.
Father: Yes, my son.
Son: What is a roadshow?
Father: It is a new weapon invented in the armoury for use during election warfare.
Son: Who invented it, father?
Father: Nobody has so far claimed the intellectual rights. But as my knowledge goes, it was first tested-fired in 1998?
Son: By whom, father?
Father: Mrs. Sonia Gandhi and later, rightly inherited by her son, Rahul Gandhi.
Son: How does it work?
Father: It is easier to handle and simpler to use than the conventional technique of speech-making.
Son: How, father?
Father: An election speech is a fling of love for the audience and shot of an arrow of words at the opponents. It earns supporters and smashes the opposition forts.
Son: Is making a speech as simple as throwing a stone at your opponents?
Father: No, my son. Making a speech targeting your opponent is as intricate and difficult a job as going on an aerial sortie for bombardment at enemy targets. It needs expertise and experience.
Son: Does a person making a speech become an effective communicator?
Father: No. Not certainly always and, the least, everybody.
Son: But where is the problem? Today we have professional speechwriters who create great speeches which have great instant impact.
Father: We do have great speechwriters. But writing a speech and making a speech are two different things, equally difficult. If speechwriters could turn every Tom, Dick and Harry into prime ministers and presidents in a democracy, we need no intelligence and experience to make a mark.
Son: But we do have leaders who make great speeches.
Father: Yes, we do have. But many of them are readers, not leaders.
Son: How does the roadshow armour strike?
Father: When you don't wish to speak or have nothing to speak, the armour of roadshow is the best weapon against your opponent. In an election rally, it is the public that comes to see and hear you. In a roadshow it is the leaders who come to show their face to the roadside spectators, wave their hands, shake hands with them and trade their smile for votes.
Son: Our film actors and actresses too gesture to their fans in halls with their arms wide open, smooching their fingers crying wildly: "I love you all." And the hall bursts wild into roars of applause in response. Is this also of the same kind?
Father: I don't know, son. The only similarity seems to be that in both cases the gathering is of fans that may or may not necessarily vote in an election.
Son: Do these actresses love all?
Father: I don't know. I have no personal experience, son. Others may know better.
Son: In which election warfare was the weapon of roadshow used?
Father: In UP, then Gujarat, Himachal Pradesh and lately, in Karnataka.
Son: With what results?
Father: I don't know son. Ask Sonia and Rahul. ***